DIVORCE HEADQUARTERS NEWSLETTER       Issue #38,     Oct/Nov/Dec 2003 Know someone else going through the process? If you think they could benefit from this newsletter feel free to pass it on in it's entirety to them. "Out of clutter, find simplicity. From discord, find harmony. In the middle of difficulty lies opportunity." - Albert Einstein In this Issue: Holiday Visitation Business Valuation in Divorce     by Grover Rutter CPA, CVA, BVAL Read All About It Divorce Humor 1. Holiday Visitation While many families are enjoying the holidays with their families, some others who are separated or divorced may be struggling through them or even dreading them. When working out a holiday visitation schedule make sure it will work for your situation and fits your holiday traditions. Keep in mind that some traditions may have to change. This is often a time that new traditions begin. The "standard" visitation schedule of late seems to be the "odd-even years" rotation of Christmas Eve through Christmas morning with one parent and the remainder of Christmas and the next day with the other. This may work if you and your ex live within close proximity to each other. However, if you do not this may not be the best situation for you. Do not simply accept the standard schedule if it does not fit your particular situation. You can be creative when setting up the schedule. You should be willing to compromise and keep the schedule fair. Most importantly, remember the children. Often a schedule is set that works for the parent's but may not be the best situation for the children. Always remember that nothing is set in stone. Keep in mind the age of your children when establishing a schedule. As they grow, the schedule may have to be modified to fit their different stages of development. Finally, if you anticipate a special circumstance plan ahead. Do not wait until the last minute to make any necessary changes. That will just add to everybody's stress. Try not to let the emotional issues of your divorce infiltrate the holiday season and as with every aspect of your divorce, always keep the best interest of the child in the forefront of your decisions and actions. It will help to keep the holidays happy for everyone involved. 2. Business Valuation in Divorce         by Grover Rutter CPA, CVA, BVAL John Wayne said it very well: "Tomorrow is the most important thing in life. It comes to us at midnight very clean. It's perfect when it arrives, and it puts itself in our hands. It hopes we've learned something from yesterday." In divorce cases, how often have lawyers and judges heard arguments about the value of a particular business based upon its future capabilities? From my experiences, it often seems that the departing spouse (the one that will not stay with and run the business) thinks of the value of a business in terms of the future prospects possessed by the business. In a recent valuation I performed, the departing wife mentioned several times that when the next "up economic cycle" hits, the business "is going to be worth a lot of money." (Of course, she apparently was not willing to wait until that next "up economic cycle" to file for divorce.) I think that the definition of "fair market value" gets rather clouded by the emotions of the parties involved in a divorce action. Sometimes I think that even the attorneys can get sidetracked on the issue of "fair market value." So, in this article, I want to briefly highlight some of the intricacies of the term fair market value. Fair market value is actually a standard of value. (Other standards of value are fair value, investment value, and intrinsic value. A full discussion of those standards of value is beyond the scope of this article.) So, how do you define fair market value? Recently, a Glossary of Terms was jointly developed by representatives of the American Institute of CPAs, the American Society of Appraisers, the Canadian Institute of Business Appraisers, the Institute of Business Appraisers, and the National Association of Certified Valuation Analysts. According to that Glossary of Terms, the definition of the term fair market value is as follows: The price, expressed in terms of cash equivalents, at which a property would change hands between a hypothetical willing and able buyer and a hypothetical willing and able seller, acting at arms length in an open and unrestricted market, when neither is under compulsion to buy nor to sell, and when both have reasonable knowledge of the relevant facts. ABOUT THE AUTHOR Grover Rutter CPA, CVA, BVAL is located in Findlay, Ohio. He has years of experience in the accounting, taxation, valuation and litigation arenas. After selling his CPA practice, he now dedicates his full time to business valuation and litigation support. He has considerable experience in the valuation of businesses for divorce purposes. 3. Read All About It Divorce can be a turbulent time for children. A number of young children take solace in their storybooks. Sometimes reading a story about divorce can help a child of any age understand his or her feelings and realize that they are not alone. A good book can also be used to open up a dialogue between parents and children. Here are a few books that you may find helpful: Dinosaurs Divorce A little bit like a comic book, sort of a reference book it's hard to classify this latest work from the Browns, but that's all right. Both children and parents will use this as they wish, for it faces head-on the emotional (sadness, anger) and physical (separation from loved ones, what to call your new father's ex-wife's children) problems of divorce. It's Not Your Fault, Koko Bear Designed as a "read together book for parents and children," this book follows Koko from the time he learns from his mother that his parents are getting a divorce to Koko's attempts at adjusting to the actual separation of his parents into two households. My Parent's Are Divorced Too Simple truths, great wisdom, and a lot of "I have been through it" advice are packed into this little book. These young authors write about their own experiences with their parents' divorce frankly and clearly in a way that can really be understood by readers ages 8-13. Mama and Daddy Bear's Divorce The author of "After Charlotte's Mom Died" explores the topic of divorce in this story of the Bear family. One sad day, Mama and Daddy say they are getting a divorce, and Dinah is scared. But when Daddy moves into his new home, Dinah and her sister Ruth visit him on weekends and Dinah still takes walk with Daddy like she used to. I Don't Want to Talk About It When a child's parents tell her they decided to divorce, the last thing she wants to do is talk about it. Instead, she wants to roar as loud as a lion so she can't hear their painful words, or turn into a fish and hide her tears in the sea, or even become a bird and fly away. But with her mother and father's help, she starts to consider what life will be like after the divorce and learns that although some things will change, many other things will remain the same. In a Note to Parents, Dr. Philip Stahl, an author and psychologist specializing in divorce and custody issues, tells parents what expect from their children when facing divorce and offers practical guidance for helping these children make the healthiest adjustment possible. The Internet is an outstanding source to find books on a wide range of divorce topics. We have searched the Internet for you and have come up with a diversified collection of books that may help you through this trying time. These books are for men, women and children. There are books for each stage from beginning the divorce to recovery. Take a look. http://www.divorcehq.com/divorcebooks.html If you are interested in books that you can download directly from the Internet, we have found those for you as well. http://www.divorcehq.com/onlinebooks.html 4. HUMOR Adam and Eve had an ideal marriage. He didn't have to hear about all the men she could have married, and she didn't have to hear about the way his mother cooked. - Unknown When a husband's words are sharp, it may be from trying to get them in edgeways. - Submitted by Joseph Cox