DIVORCE HEADQUARTERS NEWSLETTER       Issue #33           March 2003 Know someone else going through the process? If you think they could benefit from this newsletter feel free to pass it on in it's entirety to them. "You will forgive people more easily when you end your need to make them wrong." - Brian Koslow ~ Don't forget to mention DivorceHQ.com when contacting the divorce professionals listed on the site. In this Issue: Third Party Visitation Ordered in Missouri Case Child Custody Evaluations     By Robert A. Evans, Ph.D. Read All About It Divorce Humor 1. Third Party Visitation Ordered in Missouri Case In the case of Gain v. Gain, MLW No. 32646 a St. Louis County Circuit Court judge has ruled that even though a man was not a minor girl's natural father, and even though her mother was not found to be unfit, he could get visitation after his divorce from the girl's mother. Judge John R. Essner wrote "It is clear to the court that under the unique facts of this case the welfare of the child requires that Husband be awarded third party custody rights." He went on to say "The person would be hurt most severely by cutting off any relationship between [the girl] and Husband is [the girl]. It's just not fair to [the girl] to have to suffer this additional grief." According to Essner "It is clear to the court that under the unique facts of this case the welfare of the child requires that Husband be awarded third party custody rights. Though Wife's interests as a natural parent may be affected, Wife allowed a father-daughter relationship to develop by failing to inform [the child] until she was nine years old that husband was not her father." The girl's mother led the child to belive that her husband was her biological father. The girl's natural father is currently serving a prison term for homicide. For more information visit http://www.missourilaw.com/gain.cfm The following is an excerpt from an article submitted by one of our professional members. For full text of all articles visit Divorcehq.com/articles.html 2. Child Custody Evaluations         Robert A. Evans, Ph.D. In a divorce, the final decree must establish plans for child custody, visitation and child support. Many times these matters are resolved in mediation or through the attorneys and approved by the courts. When parties are unable to resolve disputes about child custody, a trial will be held and the judge will decide the issues. A custody evaluation provides information to the judge in order to help them reach a decision that will be in the best interests of the children. Child Custody Disputes can be extremely stressful, well beyond what you ever thought it would be. You need and want someone who is sensitive to what you are going through and is capable of providing Comprehensive, Objective and Understandable services that will truly result in your children's Best Interests. What is a Child Custody Evaluation? An objective assessment of the child's needs and each parent's ability to meet those needs. Identifies strengths and weaknesses of both parents. Includes parent interviews, children's interviews, observations of parent-child interactions, interviews with people outside the family and frequently includes visits to each parents home by the evaluator. Focuses on a positive adjustment to the divorce. Examines past events, identifies present resources and anticipates future needs of the family. Has the "best interests" of the child as the main focus. ABOUT THE AUTHOR Robert A. Evans, Ph.D. is a Licensed School Psychologist. The major focus of his private practice is conducting custody evaluations. He earned his Doctorate from The Catholic University of America in 1982, and has over 25 years of experience in applied psychology and the behavioral sciences. He has practiced in a wide variety of areas including individual, group and family counseling. 3. Read All About It Are you considering divorce? Just filed for divorce? Has your spouse just told you they want a divorce? Maybe you are already divorced. Having the legalities behind you does not mean all your divorce issues are resolved; in fact, some of them may just be starting. Whatever stage you are in you are probably looking for information on the subject. Sir Francis Bacon said, "Knowledge is power." The Internet is an outstanding source to find books on a wide range of divorce topics. We have searched the Internet for you and have come up with a diversified collection of books that may help you through this trying time. These books are for men, women and children. There are books for each stage from beginning the divorce to recovery. Take a look. http://www.divorcehq.com/divorcebooks.html If you are interested in books that you can download directly from the Internet, we have found those for you as well. http://www.divorcehq.com/onlinebooks.html 4. HUMOR A dietitian was addressing a large audience in Chicago: "The material we put into our stomachs is enough to have killed most of us sitting here, years ago. Red meat is awful. Soft drinks erode your stomach lining. Chinese food is loaded with MSG. Vegetables can be disastrous to some and none of us realize the long term harm caused by the germs in our drinking water. But there is one thing that is the most dangerous of all and we all have eaten or will eat it. Can anyone here tell me what food it is that causes the most grief and suffering for years after eating it?" A 75 year old man in the front row stood up and said, "Wedding cake."