DIVORCE HEADQUARTERS NEWSLETTER       Issue #18,      December 2001 H A P P Y     H O L I D A Y S Know someone else going through the process? If you think they could benefit from this newsletter feel free to pass it on in it's entirety to them. Divorce is a very difficult life event. Often the process takes much longer than anticipated. If you thought you'd be divorced during this year but weren't, take heart, you will get there. As another year draws to a close the tragic events of 9/11 made many of us take a look at how we are living our lives. As this year comes to an end we at DivorceHQ.com hope that when you take stock of the last 365 days you can be proud of your thoughts and actions, especially when it comes to your divorce, your ex and your children. Don't forget to mention DivorceHQ.com when contacting the divorce professionals listed on the site. In this Issue: The Gift Visitation and Visitation Issues     by Maury D. Beaulier, Esquire Divorce Humor 1. The Gift At this time of year many of us become obsessed with finding the "perfect gift" for those we love. Sometimes we loose sight of the true meaning of giving. Below is a poem written by someone who truly knows the meaning of giving. Take a moment to read it and you'll see what I mean. The Gift by Paul Brigante Gifts come in many different size packages Large, small, heavy and tall Some are beautifully wrapped Some are not Some have bows And others ribbons Some people put more time and effort into the package than they do the gift Only to have the package opened and quickly discarded What makes this gift different is the package For it has no bows nor ribbons No bright color wrapping nor strings attached This package is not torn apart and discarded For without the package there is no gift To change the package would be to change the gift The Gift itself has no form nor physical qualities Yet it must be nourished or it will die It has no size but yet it will grow Although you can not see it you will always feel it The gift is not exchangeable but quite returnable What is this gift? It is the truest gift of all The gift of Love And the package it comes in, is me. The following is an excerpt from an article submitted by one of our professional members. For full text of all articles visit http://Divorcehq.com/articles.html 2. Visitation and Visitation Issues     Maury D. Beaulier, Esquire A parent that is not awarded physical custody has a visitation schedule. Often when a parent is awarded visitation rather than physical custody, they feel as if they are being characterized as an inferior parent. That is not what "visitation" was intended to mean. nonetheless, over the years, that stigma has been attached to it. It is often better to think of custody and visitation schedules as parenting schedules rather than becoming caught up in labels. Currently, there is legislation being considered in Minnesota to remove many of these emotionally laden labels in order to concentrate on parenting schedules that work. SPECIFIC SCHEDULES PREFERRED. Under the current system, Minnesota Statutes prefer that Courts enter orders with specific visitation schedules to avoid disputes rather than leaving the issues open. Parents may agree on any schedule that serves the child's best interests. Moreover the parents may modify any schedule after a divorce so long as they both agree. A good way to think of a visitation schedule is to view it as a safety net in the event the parents cannot agree in the future. In such an instance, it becomes a reference point with black and white details. Generally speaking, the court will not disturb an agreement reached by the parents. COURT ORDERED SCHEDULES. If the parties are unable to reach a visitation agreement, the Court will craft its own schedule. Oftentimes, Court ordered schedules do not make either party happy which results in later disputes. As a result, it is usually in the best interests of the child(ren) and the parents if agreement on a schedule is reached. If left up to the courts, you are likely to see a common boilerplate schedule similar to the following: Weekly Schedule: Alternating weekends from Friday - Sunday and one evening per week. Holiday Schedule: The parties shall alternate legal holidays including Christmas Eve Day, Christmas Day, New Year's Day, Easter Weekend, Memorial day weekend (Fri-Mon), Independence Day, Labor day weekend (Fri - Mon), and Thanksgiving day. The child shall be with the mother on mother's day and the father on father's day. Extended Schedule: Each parent shall have two (sometimes up to four) consecutive or non-consecutive weeks with the child each summer upon 30 days advance written notice to the other party. For the full the version of Mr. Beaulier's article including Non-payment of child support and visitation rights, Denials of visitation, Parent care vs. Daycare, and Dispute resolution by mediators and visitation expeditors. go to: www.divorcehq.com/articles/visitationissues.html ABOUT THE AUTHOR Maury D. Beaulier is the founder of The Beaulier Law Office which has developed a large and active family law practice dedicated to providing each family law client with detailed information about every element of their case. He can be contacted by phone at (952)746-2153 or or Visit Web Site 3. HUMOR Bill appears before a judge one day, asking for a divorce. The judge quietly reviews some papers and then says, "Please tell me why you are seeking a divorce." "Because," Bill says, "I live in a two-story house." The Judge replies, "What kind of a reason is that? What is the big deal about a two-story house?" Bill replies, "Well Judge, one story is 'I have a headache' and the other story is 'It's that time of the month.'"