The reason to have a prenuptial agreement is that you can try to determine in advance how to handle inheritance and division of assets and alimony on divorce. If you desire a greater degree of certainty you can expect that under most circumstances a judge will enforce a validly executed prenuptial agreement. So for example, if it is your view that you want all of your premarital property to remain yours in the event of divorce, and go to your parents, or children from a prior marriage, upon your death, that is something that will likely be enforced in a prenuptial agreement, but without a prenuptial agreement state law would generally not permit. With respect to alimony, the case law is a little less clear, but, if a prenuptial agreement contains a provision in which both parties waive alimony, this provision will generally be enforced, at least in a short term marriage. If the marriage lasts a long time or one spouse is particularly in need of financial help at the time of divorce, it may be possible that a prenuptial agreement will not be enforced, based upon all of the facts of that particular case.

So each case is different. The benefit of a prenuptial agreement is that you are increasing the chances that you can predict what will happen if you die or divorce. But there is no absolute certainty.

These laws are also complicated and hard to summarize in one paragraph, in that the courts have a great deal of discretion in awarding alimony and dividing property on divorce. As a general rule of thumb, in Massachusetts, the longer you are married, the more likely it is that your entire estate will be divided equally with your spouse upon divorce. In a short term marriage the most typical approach is to return the parties to the situation they were in before they got married. There is no hard and fast rule on what constitutes a short term marriage or a long term marriage. The courts can consider as factors what your assets were at the time of the marriage, but merely because they were assets acquired before the marriage does not exempt them from division at the time of divorce. If there are any extenuating circumstances a court can award alimony or divide assets to aid a sick or disabled spouse even if the marriage was for a very short period of time. Courts are also entitled to consider marital fault when dividing assets and awarding alimony so there is no way of completely anticipating what will happen to your property in the event of divorce.

For a more detailed answer to this question you should consult Massachusetts General Laws Chapter 208 section 34, and consult an attorney, as the answer to this question will vary depending upon all of the circumstances in your marriage.

These are complicated and vary from state to state and from time to time they are amended. In Massachusetts you cannot completely disinherit a surviving spouse. This is the case in most states. Under Massachusetts law if you write a will that leaves nothing to your spouse the law gives the spouse a right to claim his/her forced share by filing in court. Under current law the spouse would be entitled to the income for life, on one third of the decedent's estate if there are surviving children, or one half of the decedent's estate if there are no surviving children.

Not always. Some couples would like a written memorialization (i.e., Postnuptial Agreement or a Memorandum of Understanding) of what they have agreed to in Mediation to Stay Married. This can be a template for them while going forward in their marriage. Some couples feel that the verbal understanding is enough and that a written agreement would be too intrusive.

In divorce mediation, the couple sits down together in a cooperative spirit instead of attempting to one-up each other in an adversarial contest. To their great benefit, the couple reduces the cost and bitterness of divorce. Following mediation ground-rules agreed upon at the outset, the couple uses the mediation process to reach agreement on issues requiring resolution for their divorce. The mediator does not judge the couple or act as a therapist. The mediator encourages the couple to engage in balanced, forward-looking negotiation and to achieve compromise that is fair and practical. An experienced, qualified mediator knows what issues need to be covered in the couple's written agreement and guides each couple accordingly.

Mediation to Stay Married does not seek to delve deeply into the past or interpersonal, psychological issues of the couple (or its individual members.) Through Mediation to Stay Married, the couple can develop concrete plans or modes of action that can be helpful to address their marital problems. The couple sees a trained mediator (often a practicing attorney or a mental health professional who has mediation training), who uses short-term dispute resolution techniques to provide help in breaking impasses and in improving the couple’s interpersonal communication skills. Sometimes using a "new horse" gives a couple the extra push it needs to get over a difficult period and to move forward to the next step in their marriage.

The legal status of Postnuptial Agreements is somewhat unclear, and depends on what state you live in. In Massachusetts, it is likely that under the correct facts and circumstances, a properly conceived and fairly written Postnuptial Agreement (like a prenuptial agreement) can be valid in case of a divorce. More importantly, the Agreement can set the couple on a path towards reconciliation and clarity over issues that are troubling them and can help prevent divorce.

Yes. Mediators who are psychotherapists and counselors can be extremely helpful in assisting couples in distress. For Mediation to Stay Married, it is preferable that the mediator be experienced in divorce mediation. Often a couple will see a mediator at the same time they are seeing a couples’ counselor or are seeing a therapist individually. It is good to use as many techniques as are effective. Couples can also receive help from mediators who are not attorneys or mental health professionals when experiencing marital problems.

Yes. Often people are completely unrealistic about divorce and what life after a divorce will be like. There are two areas of confusion - one is that a divorce will solve their problems. The other misconception is what the financial result of a divorce will be. Most divorcing couples have a highly unrealistic view on what life will be post-divorce based on totally false facts. A reality check can be very helpful before a couple makes irrevocable steps to divorce.

Participants in the divorce mediation process often wonder ... should they keep the discussion of issues going between sessions ... or is it advisable to call a halt to outside discussion? The answer is: it depends. Most often, the parties to the mediation are well-guided by their own instincts in this area. Parties uncertain about the wisdom of outside communication, or the limits to set, will find guidelines evolving as the mediation proceeds, and, in any event, can raise the subject in mediation. If the parties want to communicate constructively between sessions, their mediator will encourage them to go ahead and try. But for divorcing couples with an especially difficult relationship, the mediator may discourage outside discussion of the issues -- between some sessions, at least.

Contribution (financial or otherwise) has everything to do with marriage, and also everything to do with divorce. If one party feels he or she is carrying the weight of responsibilities, the marriage will be detrimentally affected. Mediation to Stay Married can work on these perceptions and sometimes help resolve these issues.

Mediation is sometimes entered into by a married couple with the express intention of reducing conflict in their marriage. This type of mediation is often referred to as "marital mediation." Marital mediation is different from psychological counseling and is not a substitute for counseling. Marital mediation, like other mediation, has a practical, agreement-oriented and detail-oriented focus. In marital mediation, once a couple identifies specific areas of conflict to work on, they can use the mediation process to find points of agreement and negotiate conflict-reducing resolutions. Throughout the process of marital mediation, the couple will be developing and practicing cooperative, respectful, constructive ways of communicating and reaching accord

Mediation to Stay Married (also known as Marital Mediation) is a method of helping couples who are experiencing marital problems and who would prefer to stay together rather than get divorced.

Marital counseling is performed by a mental health professional and involves therapeutic analysis and insights. While very useful to many couples at times during their marriage, often a couple finds that marital counseling does not produce results, despite the skill of the marriage counselor or the integrity of the process. Mediation to Stay Married is a practical method that relies on dispute resolution techniques. If performed by an attorney, the couple can be assisted by legal-based knowledge and options, from which the couple may benefit. Mediators with other backgrounds (mental health, employment, etc.) will bring their special skills and training to the process. The benefit of Mediation to Stay Married is that it can sometimes help people move forward to the next step in their marriage.

Marital Mediation is a term used by many mediators to mean mediation with a married couple that is trying to stay married, but it also means divorce mediation to some people. Sometimes people enter Marital Mediation who are not sure whether or not they will be divorcing, so the term is quite neutral. Mediation to Stay Married is mediation with an intent or aim to try to work out problems in the marriage that the couple is suffering over.

A couple may have gotten married without entering into a Prenuptial Agreement in a case where that type of agreement might have been very useful, such as a marriage where one or both of the parties have children from a previous marriage. A couple may have different spending habits and styles which are making them very angry at each other. Or one of the spouses may be an entrepreneurial risk-taker, while the other may be more financially conservative. A couple may be driven apart by a renovation or job losses. Couples with these and other financially-based fact patterns can sometimes be greatly helped by Mediation to Stay Married.

Many marriages (especially more lengthy marriages) fail due to financial problems and concerns. Issues of contribution (monetary and otherwise) have a huge impact on the viability and happiness of marriages. A job loss or a bankruptcy can make a couple distrustful of each other, to the point at which the marriage is at risk. Or, an inheritance can be imminent at a time when a marriage is experiencing problems. Mediation to Stay Married can also be used to heal a marriage in the case of infidelity and problems with children. It is also extremely helpful to address the "garden variety" conflict that arises from time to time in all marriages.

Many marital problems (especially in more "mature" marriages) flow from financial disputes and insecurities. Mediators who are practicing attorneys are often in a good position to analyze finances, understand legal options, and assist the couple in finding concrete solutions about their financial problems. It may be helpful to use a lawyer/ mediator who has knowledge in the following areas: divorce, tax law, estate planning, business law, or a combination of these.

People often "jump the gun" when they are having marital problems. Their minds immediately go to the idea of divorce, because they see and know of no other option. Mediation to Stay Married (also known as "Marital Mediation") helps a couple envision a positive future and possible result for them if they stay together and have a (potentially) happy marriage, rather than proceeding to a divorce. It’s a matter of "envisioning" the possibility. What people often don’t know is that marriage skills can be taught and learned. The difference between a marriage that lasts and one that breaks down is generally the success of this learning process.

Utilizing Mediation to Stay Married is not a choice of one method over another. A troubled couple should use all the resources they can. If one or both of the parties suffers from depression, addiction, or other problems, individual counseling is clearly indicated. Couples can also get great help from marital counselors, and if they have not been helped by a series of marital counseling sessions at one point in their marriage, they may be helped the second (or third) time they try it. Sometimes a few little kernels of knowledge gained by the couple’s efforts in all directions will provide the help they need to overcome a problem that is causing their marriage to break down.

Yes. Many couples in divorce mediation have said that if they had known what they learned about conflict resolution in their divorce mediation while they were married, they would not have needed to get divorced. As Mediation to Stay Married progresses, the couple learns to use new techniques to address conflict in their own marriage. They will have another tool in their "marital toolbox" as they go forward.

Although the mediator is not acting as an accountant or financial advisor, the mediator should be knowledgeable about tax and financial issues that arise in connection with divorce. Ms. Wasserman has the knowledge and experience to answer many questions in these areas and also provide appropriate referrals to other professionals, as specific issues arise that require outside expertise. Such professionals may include accountants, business or real estate appraisers, pension actuaries or financial advisors. One advantage of the mediation process is that the couple uses outside professionals on a limited, as-needed basis, in order to gain specific information or advice contributing to positive negotiation -- a major departure from the costly, inefficient use of professionals as adversarial experts in traditional divorce contests.

Whoever the mediating parties are - whether a divorcing couple, siblings with an estate conflict or family members dissolving a business - each party to the mediation will have an opportunity to explain his or her individual perspective. It is part of mediator's role to allow time for this, to listen attentively to each party and to help the parties listen to each other. The mediator should have training on the subject of neutrality, including gender neutrality, and knows how essential it not to judge the parties or choose sides. The mediator should appreciate the emotional and financial complexities of your situation and will use the mediation process to gain an understanding based on real issues, not surface impressions.

If you don't have a prenuptial agreement the laws of divorce of the state you reside in at the time of your death or divorce will apply to your situation if you divorce, and the laws of inheritance will apply if you die. If you are comfortable allowing the state laws to determine these things there is no need to sign a prenuptial agreement.

Prenuptial agreements are contracts entered into between people planning to get married. The purpose of the agreement is to define for the couple what the disposition of their financial assets will be in the event of divorce or death. In order to be valid they must be executed prior to the wedding. Both parties should have legal counsel and there needs to be a full financial disclosure of all assets of the parties. The agreement will ordinarily be enforced if it is executed properly and there is no fraud or duress involved in its execution. There is case law that suggests that if a prenuptial agreement is signed immediately prior to the wedding that could be evidence of duress. The courts in Massachusetts have also ruled that if at the time the agreement is sought to be enforced, a "second look" would take place to make sure that the agreement is not unconscionable in light of the circumstances at the time you are seeking to enforce it.